Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Ash Wednesday & Mating Cats

So, it is Ash Wednesday (I told you that I would share parts of my journey this season of Lent)…and this morning the Lord led me to the most beautiful scripture, which speaks volumes to me about the entire purpose for this day of ashes.

I was reading Colossians 3 in The Message & was moved by these words:

So if you’re serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don’t shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that’s where the action is. See things from his perspective.

Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life—even though invisible to spectators—is with Christ in God. He is your life. When Christ (your real life, remember) shows up again on this earth, you’ll show up, too—the real you, the glorious you. Meanwhile, be content with obscurity, like Christ.

I read these words over and over this morning and was reminded by the Lord that this is not only a time for discipline & fasting but it is also a time to add something…or “pursue the things over which Christ presides.” I am guilty of shuffling along & easily becoming absorbed in the things that are most imminent in my life – I’ve gotten too easily shaken or upset by the things I see this year & I want to remember…I want to be reminded that my real life – the life Christ intends for me to live can be seen…can be LIVED when I begin to live in Him & see from His perspective.

To me, this is what Ash Wednesday is all about – realizing that it is not I who lives…I am but ashes…it is He that lives in me. And for today it is okay to live in obscurity…to be reminded that He sees what I do not see…and to celebrate living a life that is hidden in Him.

On a completely different (well, somewhat different) and irreverent note…

I’m starting to think that I might also be forced to fast a bit of sleep at this stage in my life. I have a week & a half to go in this pregnancy, and the sleep that I so desperately cherish seems to be slipping from my reach. Most nights for the last month have found me wide awake feeling the pitter patter of feet inside my belly.

Last night was no different. After tossing and turning for half an hour I retreated to the couch around 2am where I did some reading and surfing online. Around 3:30am, Selah had calmed down and I felt my eyelids get heavy. I turned out the lamp…got comfortable on the couch and waited for sweet sleep to come. After about 5 minutes as I was drifting off to never land, I heard one of the most disturbing and horrific noises…the sounds of cats mating.

Have you ever heard or witnessed cats mating?

It is gruesome…it is scary…it is disturbing…and yes, it was happening literally right outside the floor to ceiling windows that overlook our backyard. Words cannot describe my feelings at that moment – horror…despair…and a bit of amazement. At one time the cats literally hit the windows…and although I’m sure they wanted to continue making babies…I hit the windows too – screamed at them to stop!

And my dream of sleep was lost – at least for another half hour as I attempted to erase the sight that had scarred me…perhaps for life. So, although it was not a poignant or beautiful moment with Jesus on this Ash Wednesday…the mating cats did end up making me laugh with God.

“Seriously?” I asked God at 4am…”Is this what awaits me the next few months with this new baby?” (Not mating cats but the sleepless nights…the interruptions…the reminders that I need Him). And at that moment I felt Him smile and whisper, “Yep, you are in for a ride. It won’t be mating cats, but there will be sleepless nights & a whole new perspective from which you are about to see.”

Not sure what is in store, but whether it is walking through Lent or embracing a new season of motherhood…I’m definitely ready for something new…I’m ready to be new…

Until next time...Paige


Enid said...

Is perfect, I tell you! God made it a one prefect ride! I am just glad you have so much family to help you out!

When you are in that momment of having her, and thinking Lord I can't anymore...just think like when you are pushing your self to run another extra two miles when you are running...that feeling of YES I had to do this it will be better!!

Angie Neal said...

This might be one of my favorite posts ever. I was so moved by your thoughts on Ash Wednesday, and then laughed out loud about the cats! So great!

Loosing sleep after the baby comes is very different than the weeks leading up to the baby's arrival. You find a physical strength you did not know you had. And an ability to sleep anywhere, anytime sleep is offered! And nursing at 3am is a holy experience! I'm praying for you friend!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...