2012 - A Year to Abide

It is the end of 2012 and I must say it was a good year.  I was so ready to say adios to 2011 that I started off with high hopes & 2012 did not disappoint.  I only made two resolutions for 2012 and I can't believe that they both have been constant!

The first was my little 365 project of taking a picture everyday.  I'll try my best to post the wrap up to this tomorrow...and although I do think I missed 10-12 days I definitely captured our year and I'm looking forward to making a book with only these pictures to remember our year by.

My second resolution was not really a resolution at all, but rather I was inspired by other bloggers and chose a word for 2012.  You can read all about how I started off this year focusing on the word ABIDE here.  And as I close 2012 I can honestly say that I've learned so much about abiding in Him.

I thought I'd blog much more about this journey, but was often silenced as I realized abiding is something that is worked within rather than something that I was able to articulate with lengthy blogs and beautifully scripted words.

In fact, in that original blog I wrote:
this is what I long for – an ability to shut off my to-do lists and agendas – a serenity and yet also strength that resonates from simply being with Him.

It is as if He took me at my words and abiding has not been something that I've strived to achieve but rather it has gradually manifested the more that I became quiet and listened and in turn responded to His promptings.

He prompted in January as Josh and I toured a vineyard in Sonoma.  As I walked amongst those vines...and I stared at the piles of branches that had been pruned by the vintner...and I wondered if that pile was an omen of what awaited...  It was that day in which I knew that this year would require some pruning and yet He was gracious to remind me that I could submit to the pruning and it would be much easier. 

He prompted me one day as Selah brought home a painting of monkeys swinging on a vine with John 15:5 written along the margins...and I realized it would be hard to abide so long as my margins were cluttered with anything other than Him.

He prompted me in the middle of many nights as I fed and rocked my new baby.  It was there that He showed me - THIS - THIS is a picture of abiding...she needing me for sustenance...me wanting to just be with her.  Choosing to stay up past the feeding simply because it was so precious to be with her & she with me.

He prompted me when I really let go of my desires to do more and chose instead to be more by going part-time at the church and spending more time with my girls.

He prompted me through His Word and in conversations with friends.  He prompted me as I've walked with friends through trials and heartache.  He prompted me in laughter and joy.  And I'm learning that to truly ABIDE one never fully "gets it" but just tries to keep in step with Him...in step with His love.

"As my Father has loved me, so have I loved you.  Abide in my love."  - John 15:9

One Word for 2012 : : ABIDE

Source: carolinesimas.blogspot.com via Caroline on Pinterest

For the last couple of years I’ve chosen one word to focus on for the coming year instead of resolutions.  I’m a big goal setter, so resolutions come and go in my life…sometimes on a daily basis.  But taking one word to meditate upon, grow in, and discover has an intentionality that suits me right now.

I’ve been praying for the last few days about what word the Lord has for me to focus upon for 2012…and my mind has swayed from A to Z.  But when I get really quiet and let my heart listen to His voice one word becomes clear:

ABIDE

I have to be honest, the word abide scares me a bit.  It seems almost like a description for the super spiritual, like a Mother Teresa or Mary at the feet of Jesus.  And those who know me best will readily admit I’m much more of a Martha or Army general.

It scares me because at the core of who I am – this is what I long for – an ability to shut off my to-do lists and agendas – a serenity and yet also strength that resonates from simply being with Him.  And it scares me because it seems so opposite from what I naturally gravitate towards.  

I am, after all, a master goal setter – I accomplish life with gusto.

Run a marathon – I’ve done it.

Graduate from seminary – check.

Learn to take great pictures – working on it.

And on and on it goes…

But I want more.  

I want more than an impressive resume – I want substance and joy and beauty and Him.  I want to continue seeing fruit from my life, but I want to know that it’s His fruit and not something I’m creating that is nothing more than a waxy substitute that just looks pretty.

So ABIDE it is.

2012 will be a year in which I try to discover what it really means to abide in Him & He in me.  I’m prepared for the uncomfortable, the silence, the listening, and the unexpected.  Honestly, I don’t really know what I’m expecting, but I trust Him…and isn’t that – trust – the beginning of abiding?

John 15:4-9

⁴ Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. ⁵ I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. ⁶ If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. ⁷ If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. ⁸ By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. ⁹ As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. 

ENOUGH

A few musings this morning...

Thanks to everyone who left a comment on my last post. Your words were comforting & full of wisdom...I agree with Brittany that the gift of our presence is sometimes all that we can offer and yet one of the greatest gifts we can give. Sarah, I agree with you too - this season is definitely a sign to me that most of all I need to get on my knees are pray - really pray for those I love and the pain I see in so many.

After reading my blog, my friend and fellow blogger Jennifer sent me a text about a response I had made to one of her blogs months ago. She was sharing that 2010 she was going to focus on one characteristic of God and asked readers if there was something we wanted Him to reveal to us about Himself. In one word - what did we want to know about God. She texted me that my word had been ENOUGH.

I remember responding to that blog - wanting to really know that He was enough. Needing to know that when all else fails He was enough...mostly because I rarely rely on Him with ALL that I am. So, I think He is allowing me to live this truth out - as 2010 closes...He is making it clear that when I come to the end of myself - my intellect, my answers, my theories on life, etc...He is still there and HE is ENOUGH.

Praying that He is enough for you today too.

On a lighter note - I'm loving this fall weather! Listening to Brooke Fraser...sipping peppermint tea...dancing with my girl...and trying to fight off a cold this morning...