It is the end of 2012 and I must say it was a good year. I was so ready to say adios to 2011 that I started off with high hopes & 2012 did not disappoint. I only made two resolutions for 2012 and I can't believe that they both have been constant!
The first was my little 365 project of taking a picture everyday. I'll try my best to post the wrap up to this tomorrow...and although I do think I missed 10-12 days I definitely captured our year and I'm looking forward to making a book with only these pictures to remember our year by.
My second resolution was not really a resolution at all, but rather I was inspired by other bloggers and chose a word for 2012. You can read all about how I started off this year focusing on the word ABIDE here. And as I close 2012 I can honestly say that I've learned so much about abiding in Him.
I thought I'd blog much more about this journey, but was often silenced as I realized abiding is something that is worked within rather than something that I was able to articulate with lengthy blogs and beautifully scripted words.
In fact, in that original blog I wrote:
this is what
I long for – an ability to shut off my to-do lists and agendas – a serenity and
yet also strength that resonates from simply being with Him.
It is as if He took me at my words and abiding has not been something that I've strived to achieve but rather it has gradually manifested the more that I became quiet and listened and in turn responded to His promptings.
He prompted in January as Josh and I toured a vineyard in Sonoma. As I walked amongst those vines...and I stared at the piles of branches that had been pruned by the vintner...and I wondered if that pile was an omen of what awaited... It was that day in which I knew that this year would require some pruning and yet He was gracious to remind me that I could submit to the pruning and it would be much easier.
He prompted me one day as Selah brought home a painting of monkeys swinging on a vine with John 15:5 written along the margins...and I realized it would be hard to abide so long as my margins were cluttered with anything other than Him.
He prompted me in the middle of many nights as I fed and rocked my new baby. It was there that He showed me - THIS - THIS is a picture of abiding...she needing me for sustenance...me wanting to just be with her. Choosing to stay up past the feeding simply because it was so precious to be with her & she with me.
He prompted me when I really let go of my desires to do more and chose instead to be more by going part-time at the church and spending more time with my girls.
He prompted me through His Word and in conversations with friends. He prompted me as I've walked with friends through trials and heartache. He prompted me in laughter and joy. And I'm learning that to truly ABIDE one never fully "gets it" but just tries to keep in step with Him...in step with His love.
"As my Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love." - John 15:9