The Faith of a Child

A couple of nights ago, Selah and I were in the midst of her nightly bedtime routine.  After Josh tells her a story, she and I always have “talk time” which has included discussions ranging from why she is EXACTLY like Elsa from Frozen to deeper questions about death and how babies come into the world (help me Jesus!).  I never know what to expect during talk time – the mind of a 4-year old is a wonderous thing, but I have come to cherish this bedtime ritual, and even though I’m often exhausted by the time “talk time” arrives, I get energized by her enthusiasm and sometimes deep questions.

Earlier this week was no different as I sat down next to her and she started off a discussion on weddings.  I have no idea how weddings came to her mind, but mostly she was lamenting the fact that she has NEVER been a flower girl, and ALL of her cousins have!  

“Mom!  Peyton has been a flower girl…and Molly was one too…and Maci!  Mom, Maci is EVERYONE’s flower girl!”   

I was about to refute this claim, when I thought through her cousins and realized that she was in fact correct with her findings.  Each of her cousins have been in a wedding in the role of flower girl, and we have listened to their delightful stories of pretty dresses, flower petals, and the fun of weddings! 

I tried to explain that Maci was a flower girl because she had several single aunts and uncles while all of Selah’s were married when she came into this world.  My reasoning didn’t seem to make much of an impact, and Selah asked if I had been a flower girl when I was younger.  Although I wanted to stand with her in solidarity I had to tell her that yes, in fact I was a flower girl for my aunt Lisa…and so she was faced with the sad fact that EVERYONE she knew had been a flower girl except her!  This is very real heartbreak for a 4-year old!

So she began asking me about single friends in our lives.  What about…Annie?  What about…Jay?  What were their plans for future flower girls?  She was on a mission that night to find a solution to her dilemma!   

After much talking, I said maybe it was something she should pray about, and as soon as that statement left my mouth I immediately regretted it.  What had I just done?  I felt certain that I had just set my child up for disappointment, because in all reality she wasn’t going to be a flower girl anytime soon.  Why would I have thrown the prayer solution out there?  Ugh!  Parent fail.

She immediately liked my idea and so we began praying, and I listened as she beautifully pleaded with the Lord to  make her a flower girl.  She would do a very good job, Lord…and all of her cousins had been a flower girl – wasn’t it her turn? 

It was such a sweet moment that I wrote a quick status update about it on facebook (because that’s what one does now when their kid is adorable), and I may have prayed my own prayer that God protect her little heart from the inevitable disappointment that I knew would ensue.

Oh Paige, of little faith!

Two days passed and I all but forgot about this prayer when I had a friend come by my office.  Jessica and I have known each other for a few years as she was in our college group when Josh and I led Zoe.  She and I met periodically over the years to talk about faith and her walk with the Lord, and a few months ago she asked Josh and I to officiate her upcoming wedding to Sam.

When she stopped by the office I assumed we would talk about scheduling their pre-marital counseling as I told them that we should start in April, but she had other plans.

Jessica sat down and said that she had been thinking for sometime about asking Selah to be her flower girl.  Cue my astonishment & joy!  She doesn’t know Selah that well – she is closer to Josh and I, but said that Selah had come to mind a few times and had wondered if it would be strange to ask this little girl who she didn’t know well. 

But then, she had a dream 3 nights before in which she had 2 flower girls – Selah & Layla (a beautiful girl from Uganda that my cousin is in the process of adopting).  She told her fiancee Sam about the dream and they decided to ask the girls to be their flower girls.

Jessica talked to my cousin first about Layla, and as she retold the dream my cousin asked her if she had seen my facebook post!  Jessica had not seen it as she hasn’t been on facebook for a couple of weeks…and so that sealed it!

As Jessica told me how this unfolded I almost burst into tears!  How good is God?  How much does He love us and care about us?  Even those small desires in our hearts – He cares!  I’m not saying that everything you ever pray for will get the answer you hope for…but I AM saying we serve a God who loves His kids and I believe He really delights in blessing us.

Selah was downstairs at Kids Day Out, so I took Jessica to talk to her, and you should have seen her face.  She didn’t know what to think about this offer – it was like she wanted to jump up and down and be surprised all at the same time…so she just giggled and said yes.  Later on she did jump and dance & she immediately called her daddy to let him know her exciting news.

As she told her BIG news to everyone she saw, I noticed that two different things came out of her mouth:

“Jesus answered my prayer!”

and

“My dream came true!”

Thank you Lord for making her dream come true.  Thank you for being a God who hears our cries and pleas.  Thank you for loving us and loving even the small things that feel big to our hearts.  And help us…help people like me who are small in our faith…who forget how to pray courageously and with abandon.  Help us to trust that you are a good God who loves and lavishes His kids with good.

The Power of a Thank You

For those days when you wonder if the sacrifice is worth it.

For those moments when the burden seems too heavy to bear.

For those hours when you ask yourself if anyone knows the loneliness that comes with leadership.

For those late nights and early mornings where you give up sleep to answer a call or meet for a heart-to-heart lament.

For all these moments and more that come with pouring your life into others - Thank You.

Far too often we never get to hear those two words of appreciation...BUT when you do, when you hear the OTHER side of the story - the sacrifice, the hours, the burdens, the tears - they all come into focus and you realize:

It WAS worth it

And You never once carried that burden or sacrifice alone...for He lifted your shoulders and wiped your tears, and gave you strength, and listened to your bleeding heart.

And He is now allowing you to see the other side - the Thank You’s, the stories, the words of memory, the transformed lives.

And it is worth it!

****Last night Josh and I were surprised with a thank you party for our 10 years of serving as college and young adult pastors.  It was such a joy to see the faces of many who had come into our lives through this ministry.

And late into last night we read together the words of thanks that these young men and women had penned.  And those words - those precious thank you’s - were like balm to my soul.

As I read aloud their sentiments I was flooded back with the many memories I had over the years...

     ...of my insecurities, wondering if I was making any sort of lasting impact

     ...of the sometimes tears that I would shed over their stories - feeling that I in no way could really  give the guidance or hope that was needed

     ...of the frustrations I felt because I was not seeing what Christian culture tells us equals success (big crowds and flashy lights)

     ...of the laughter, so much laughter, that I had shared with these beautiful young people

     ...of the ways I’ve been changed by them

And this morning as I sit outside reminiscing and giving my own thanks to God, I realize that there really is no end to this call we all have to make an impact - I will continue to try to do so in whatever capacity I’m given.

And in no way does my journey end with those hundreds of amazing young men and women - for even this morning I couldn’t help but go read the Thank You’s that Paul once wrote and I found myself praying these words over their lives:

“So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well...Live a lover’s life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God.”   - Philippians 1:9-11

**Perhaps you should go tell someone in your life Thank You today - those two words have power.

Easter was a Beautiful Thing

I love Easter and as I get older I seem to understand in new dimensions this most amazing of days.  Yesterday as I awoke I had a genuine longing for His presence - just realizing that although Friday was dark and Saturday was silent - THIS day - THIS Sunday was for rejoicing!

Oh, and rejoice we did!  Church was a highlight for me as our service focused on stories of redemption and the fact that God has the final word.  As I listened to testimonies of people whom I know (some closely some from a distance) I couldn't help but think of how God has been faithful in my own life.

Those moments...like Josh losing his business or wondering if personal dreams would forever be lost have slowly been redeemed in my life.  God does have the last word, and my faith was strengthened for those areas where I still wait...those areas where it feels like the Saturday before resurrection day.  Those areas where all is quiet - I know He lives & He will shine in those areas...one day.

So, it was a fun day celebrating His power and triumph!

Oh, and my sister totally rocks - she came up with this idea to use Gungor songs to tell real stories of God's slow working in lives.  Here are a few pics I took from the service.

We moved our services to the Civic Center to accommodate the larger attendance.

Michael Koontz sang Please Be My Strength after sharing about looking to God after his parent's divorce.

One of my favorite people, Kyla Osborne, had me in tears as she shared her story of fighting cancer and the loss of her father.  I loved her honest words about having it out with God, and slowly simply knowing that in spite of it all...He loves her.

Jeremy & Kim Ruthhardt shared their story of a marriage restored.

Angie Romans shared her story of her daughters being brought back home & God's restoration.

And people flocked to the stage (it was the only empty space in the room) to receive Christ as the one who would make something beautiful in their own lives.  Loved this moment.

I pray that you had a wonderful Easter as well...and today, as I sit at a coffee shop sipping coffee and eating a muffin I pray that you too sense that He is alive - just awaiting His timing to turn what has felt like dust or ashes in your life into that beautiful thing He sees in you.

How Do You Give Thanks?

I have not shared my gifts in quite a while, but they continue to mount as I see the goodness and grace of God at every corner.  Today, as I often do on Mondays I contemplate the gifts in my life and give thanks to start off another week…and today, I’m very aware of the many gifts that have been brought into my life by the presence of one person.

Today, as I head into my office…it will be the first time in 7 years that I will not get to brainstorm, laugh with, and even boss around a bit a woman who started 7 years ago as my assistant and now is most definitely my friend.  So my blog today is to let you all know about the many gifts God graced me with over the last seven years in the form of Kyla Osborne.

Today I wonder…How do you give thanks to someone who…

Believes in you – who fights your battles alongside you and honors you (even when you are a bit hormonal or wrong)

Makes you laugh

Makes you think from a new perspective – as she honestly shares her own opinions and view

Gives you fashion advice and ensures that you do not go too far into the mommy-wear zone

Opens her heart to the things that stir your own – opens it so widely that those passions…that desire for justice becomes alive in her own heart.

 How do you give thanks to someone who…

Faces some of life’s cruelest battles – the loss of a loved one…the loss of a hoped for dream…cancer…and yet, continues to move forward – winning those battles…and facing the pain that accompanies each while still faithful to do the job and do it well

Is more talented than most will ever know…who has more gifts that she will ever admit to herself…

Is honest with their faith – and yet never walks away – choosing instead to wrestle and ask the hard questions so that the faith becomes more genuine and true

How do you give thanks when words are not enough?

I’m not sure I know how…but after 7 years, I give thanks today to the One who brought this friend into my life.  

And I give thanks to Kyla by encouraging her to GO!  May you continue to dream BIG and yet see the beauty in the ordinary.  May you find joy and peace and fulfillment in all that your hands touch.  May you continue to grow in faith and grace and in knowing Him.  And as you do, may He open doors that your heart longs for most – using those gifts and talents and incredible fashion sense the way you were created to do.

Thank you.

Love The One You Are With

Source: etsy.com via Paige on Pinterest

I’ve read several blogs on marriage recently – most in response to Mark Driscoll’s book Real Marriage (which I have no intention of reading – I’m not much of a Driscoll fan, but that’s all I’ll say on that matter).  Oh, except that I did love Sarah’s post over at Emerging Mummy describing the beautiful marriage she and Brian share. 

Other blogs have been in response to New Year’s resolutions or just a reminder to keep a focus on that most important of relationships.  I especially loved Ann Voskamp’s words and practical suggestions to connecting with one's spouse.

And as I’ve been reading these reflections on marriage my own thoughts have often drifted to my relationship with Josh.  I’ve never been the romantic or one to gush too much about what we have, but the more I’ve allowed myself to reflect the more I’ve realized just how precious and rare it is.  It is so different from what I see in others, and yet I believe each couple has their own rhythm that they find if and when they stay true and push through those frustrations and unmet expectations.  I’ve long given up comparing what we have to others – I like that ours is a bit different and that our roles cannot always be defined.  Because regardless of what books or others say we have a security in our love with the first goal being to simply serve the other.

After 11 years of marriage and over 13 years of becoming best friends I still marvel when he starts to fold towels in the early morning hours (like he did today).  I love that we can laugh at the goofiest of things when the lights are out and we are soon to fall asleep.  I love that there are no assumptions - even when it comes to our schedules and whose work or passions take precedence.  I love how he prays over me…how he throws Selah into the air with abandon…how he whispers love to our little nugget inside my belly. 

Too many things that I love to recount…but exploring San Francisco this week together solidifies that there is no one I’d rather explore with (he is my Boots so to speak – sorry, Dora the Explorer is on right now).   We’ve travelled the world together exploring and engaging new cultures…and although we’ve walked the streets of Paris at midnight, experienced Chinese New Year with all it’s fascinating colors in Thailand, and watched the sun set on beaches of Mexico…we still love new sights and rarely take a new adventure for granted.

So, thank you to my adoring husband for continuing to explore and see new sights – if you travel to San Francisco, here are a few recommendations from our travels.

A definite must is to purchase a new pair of sunglasses - well, this was our first stop as Josh left his shades at home and needed not 1 but 2 new pairs!

We decided to be true tourists on this trip since we were limited in transportation, and took the open air tour bus the first day to scope out the places we really wanted to see.

Josh is a fan of architecture & skyscrapers...so this was on his list of must sees: The Transamerica Pyramid Building...

I on the other hand, am a fan of Crepes...especially Nutella Crepes!  And we found a delightful little bakery called Honey Honey that made this gem for yours truly!

I am also a fan of tea and all things British!  Found the cutest Tea Shop where I located Jame Austen tea (how much more British can you get), a cute print of stuffed animals having a tea party that I bought for the new nursery, and just quaintness (not sure if that is a word) all around!

An aspect that I did NOT love so much about San Fran were the crazy steep streets.  I loved gazing up them as we drove by, but when it was time to actually walk these bad boys, I most definitely was aware that I have not run in quite some time!  I don't think the extra few pounds from the little nugget helped either...

This handsome fella had pity on me and purchased us an all day trolley pass so I could steer clear of the steep streets.  And yes, we did take the customary picture of Josh hanging off the trolly...but I like this one better - isn't he a cutie?

We rode the trolley down to the Ferry Farmer's Market on Sunday afternoon & I was amazed at the care that local farmers took in growing all sorts of produce.  I especially found the mushroom stand intriguing.  These people were serious about their mushrooms...and I have a feeling they grew "special mushrooms" we didn't see here...

One of my favorite parts of vacation is when we just stop and find little places to sit and sip coffee.  This was outside the Ferry Building and Josh had purchased a coffee & an organic ice cream sandwich.  We people watched for a long time & enjoyed the sunshine!

San Francisco has great architecture...and although this isn't technically architecture, I loved this sign in China Town...there were lots of happy moments like this to be found as I looked up at the buildings!

Here is the famous Golden Gate Bridge - it was impressive.

But the Red Woods were far more impressive in my opinion...here we are standing inside one of the tree trunks.

Again, just a quick snapshot to show how large the trees were in comparison to our small selves.

Ahh...Looking Heavenward!

We also found a secluded beach on the other side of the woods.  We sat in the sand watching this father and daughter playing.  I wish this picture could convey her delight and determination in chasing the bird.

My final recommendation is to visit Sonoma or Napa Valley.  We went into the small town of Sonoma and then also drove through several vineyards stopping occasionally...these are a few barrels at the Kunde Family Winery.

I loved the vineyards & will write another blog about my experience there.  For some reason it literally did not hit me until I was standing among the vines that I had chosen ABIDE as my word for 365...and within the first two weeks of January, here I stood getting an up close demonstration of John 15.

And the best piece of advice I have for visiting San Francisco...go with someone special - the one you love to explore with...the one you laugh easily with...the one who will let you have a moment in the vineyard and not ask any questions...the one who offers to give you a piggy back ride if your feet are hurting that badly...the one who knows you best...and then...it will definitely be a trip you won't soon forget.

Project 365

I've been in the mood to take on little craft projects lately.  I decided I wanted to learn to knit & even purchased the required yarn & needles.  You know how far I've gotten on the gorgeous gray scarf I'm envisioning in my head?

Nada.

Yep, I haven't even opened the package that the needles are in...and although I've yet to begin it's still a project on my to-do list.  I've been working on other random projects lately too - spray painting outdoor furniture (although it's now too cold outside to finish the said project), an online scrapbook (I'm actually almost finished with this little gem), and even an Advent wreath (this should hopefully be finished today - truthfully...we'll just see).

Do you ever start projects too only to find that they were great in theory and may be great in reality but either the time or motivation seems to be but a vapor and projects are just laying around?   I hope I'm not alone - I think most women are prone to this (men too)...perhaps this is why pinterest is such a hit?

Anyways, I wanted to tell you all about yet another project that I'm venturing towards.  Have you heard of Project 365?  It's basically a photography challenge of sorts in which you take one picture a day to document your life.  People have been doing it for quite some time - taking pictures of their children as they grow, taking a snapshot just of their profiles or growing beards, and others taking shots of the little mundane aspects that make up our daily lives.

I've been intrigued by this idea for awhile, and then I just decided I would try to make this little project a reality for 2012!

I have a few reasons for wanting to try this out:

1.  I'm trying to be more present in my daily life, and for me, there is something about taking a picture that reminds me to cherish that moment.

2.  I'm also trying to grow in my attitude of gratitude - especially when it comes to the small moments of life.  I've kept a gifts journal (via Ann Voskamp), and I love having something tangible that is like a letter to the Lord simply saying thank you.  And how cool to have a visual reminder of those little things I now see as a gift!

3.  I'm wanting to grow in my photography skills.

4.  I want to have a way to remember this season of life - the small moments when Selah climbs into the dryer (this happened on Sunday) and the big moments like Christmas or travelling the globe.

So, I'm going to do it, and I've decided to take Fridays to share with the blog world the pics I've taken that week.  I'm not going to be strict about any of this (so a post may not appear until Saturday...or Monday).  I'm not going to limit myself to particularly great pictures either (if something is happening and all I have is my iPhone - I'm capturing that moment).

Lastly, I'd love it if any of you wanted to take on this challenge with me.  There's just something about knowing you aren't alone in a project that makes it more fun...and there is even some accountability.  So what do you think?  Interested in pulling out your cameras and capturing life as it happens?

I'm going to go ahead and start sharing a photo a day (I'll post a week's worth every Friday)...and then in the new year we can officially start & I'll provide a place for you to link your blog here in case you want to show others how you are capturing each day of 2012.

Here is my first test week!

Day 1 - Thanksgiving (This is my lovely mother-in-law Marcy & her world famous sweet potato casserole).  I never liked sweet potatoes until I had hers and I am forever converted.

Day 2 - At the Ft. Worth Light Parade

Day 3 - Driving home from Dallas.  Not my proudest moment as a parent, but I love junk food when driving and thought Selah could enjoy some too - This might truly be the best representation of a food coma - notice the Cheeto in her little hand!

Day 4 - Decorating the Christmas Tree - Selah loves the shiny Christmas ornaments!

Day 5 - I was giving a final exam in The Pauline Epistles class I teach - this was my vantage point as the students furiously wrote.

Day 6 - I have an appointment with the baby doctor and this is what I stare at while waiting.  Don't you just love pictures of babies?  Even if you have no idea who they are...

Day 7 - Sermon Preparation.  The final result is a sermon entitled: Prayer - The Myths and Miracles of Divine Communication.  I'm excited to preach it soon!

Day 8 - Lights at Vintage with my family.  I'm really going to try and have one picture of myself each week - I've discovered that I'm never in pictures - always just behind the camera...so even if they are out of focus (like this lovely one) I'm still going to get in front of the camera every once in awhile to remind myself that I was in fact all the events that I document.

What do you think?  Have any interest in joining me in this Project 365?  Any ideas on how to make this a project that is actually accomplished?

Happy Thanksgiving

Source: google.ca via Paige on Pinterest

Happy Thanksgiving Blog Family!  I hope you are having a splendid day with family and friends - remembering the many ways in which you are blessed!

We are lazily watching Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade (well, Selah is actually watching Yo Gabba Gabba), the smell of apple pie is in the air, I hear Josh and his mom in their familiar banter, and I am thankful.

I am thankful for cozy blankets.
I am thankful for dimples.
I am thankful for my stud husband.
I am thankful for cinnamon rolls.
I am thankful for family who also happen to be dearest of friends.
I am thankful for grace and that He does not want me to perform.
I am thankful for laughter.
I am thankful.

I pray that you see God today as you give thanks for the big and small.  He is in every gift and every smile and every opportunity to give thanks.

A Look Through The Lens

I've enjoyed looking at the world through my camera lens lately - something about really focusing in on certain aspects of life helps me to be thankful of what's right in front of me at the time.  And so, here are just a few things I've noticed and been thankful for this month

Leaves changing - bright reds, oranges, and yellows against the blue sky

Little hands and little feet on a constant search for all that is new

The smile of a friend who is anticipating her upcoming graduation & the new life that comes with finishing  college

Sunsets - If you live in Lubbock, have you noticed just how gorgeous they have been lately?

What have you noticed recently that you are thankful for?