Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Sisters, Smiles, and Settling into Life with Two Little Girls - Project 365 (Weeks 34-36)

Project 365 Pictures!!!  Woohoo!  I'm catching up, and I've decided that once I'm finished I'm going to turn this project into a little photo book as a way to highlight our year.  It feels a little more real that my typical photo albums that just highlight big events.  This way I can look back and remember what life was like on ordinary days and remember that there really is joy in the every day.

Day 235 - We visited Lubbock's new Farmer's Market and I asked Selah to pose next to her sister.  I can't wait to watch these two grow into best friends!
Day 236 - Seriously!?  Have you seen anything cuter lately?
Day 237 - Selah had a long day at Kids Day Out and informed me that she needed a treat.  I loved Nilla wafers as a kid & she does too!

Day 238 - I was pulling out a dress for Selah to wear to a wedding & she wanted to put it in right then and there saying, "I'm a Lerlerina!"  She is our little dancer.

Day 239 - Haven is going to work with me and occasionally my mom will come steal her so she can give her Gigi kisses!  I came to her office and found Haven fast asleep in her lap.

Day 240 - We traveled to Dallas and this was the first time Josh's sister Joy got to meet our Haven Joy!
Day 241 - Josh and I got to get away while we were in Dallas one night & just happened upon fireworks in the city.  I was trying to take a picture with the fireworks in the background and obviously I didn't get it, but I love this picture with my hubby!
Day 242 - We went to my dear friend, Marisa's wedding.  And Haven got lots of love from these two lovelies!

Day 243 - Gigi took Selah for ice cream!  I think you can see the rest of the story from this picture.

Day 244 - Lunch with Gigi & Mema
Day 245 - OMG - I love the way her little lips barely curve into a smile
Day 246 - We dance in the car ALL THE TIME!
Day 247 - Been doing lots of this lately.
Day 248 - I took Selah to the park & she wanted to play on the splash pad...no swimsuit, so she stripped down and had a blast.  The only problem was she couldn't understand why I didn't also strip down and join her.
Day 249 - Forgot to take a picture this day so here is another playing in the water!
Day 250 - Josh and I drove to Ruidoso for a couple's retreat & my jaw dropped when I opened the curtains of our hotel room and saw that this was our view.  Needless to say, I sat on the balcony with Haven quite a bit and just marveled.
Day 251 - I came back to our hotel room one afternoon to find Josh had posed Haven just so...he said he was introducing her to the world of electronics.
Day 252 - Last day in Ruidoso, walking around the lake.
Day 253 - Love her big eyes...and her arm pit rolls - ha!
Day 254 - Selah and I were making funny faces together.
Day 255 - Styling
Day 256 - Happy Birthday, Taylor!


Sunday, August 19, 2012

Need Some Inspiration for Back to School? Try a Party!


Loved the colorful decor!
I've always loved Kathleen Kelley in "You've Got Mail" when she talks about the joy of freshly sharpened pencils and the smell of fall in the air!

I don't know about you, but I'm realizing that fall is in deed in the air and with that comes back to school!  Josh's family has a long line of teachers and so back to school season has special meaning.

In order to get the kids excited about jumping back into school mode, Josh's aunt Clarice planned our first ever back to school party!  She had heard how much Selah loves a good party and Selah counted down the hours to this really fun shindig!

If you are looking for a way to get your kids excited about school as they wave good-bye to slow summer days then you should look into throwing your own back to school party!  Here is what ours looked like:

First, go to your local school supply store and create decorations like Aunt Clarice - she had a garland made out of flash cards, apples and name cards at every one's plate!  And each kid had their own special bin filled with markers, colored pencils, composition books and more!

Not only did she have thoughtful decor and gifts, she also planned out fun activities for our party!  First off, we had some school riddles to solve.  Josh read out the riddle and the kids did a great job of getting the right answers!  One example was, "Why was the math book so sad?"  The answer "It has a lot of problems!"  I found out kids LOVE these silly questions!

Josh reading the questions
Levi is first to answer the question: "How does the bumble bee get to school?" The answer: "He rides the BUZZ!"
Selah tried answering a couple of the riddles too!
 After our fun time of solving riddles, Uncle Dwight read The Kissing Hand to everyone.  Selah liked the pictures and I loved them having the opportunity to hear this precious story.


Oh, and then we sat down to some delicious treats!  Brownies, peach crisp, ice cream and colorful straws made this a party Selah will never forget!

Can you tell that this is a happy kid?
Here is Aunt Clarice serving up sweet watermelon!
I loved the attention to detail!
 And then the kids played - here is Selah and Levi diving into their colored pencils and puzzle books!  After this special day I think everyone is ready to get back to school!

Thank you Aunt Clarice!
Coloring with cousin Levi

Friday, August 17, 2012

Becoming Fully Alive


I’m sitting in an Einstein Bagels on an overcast Friday trying to figure out the best way to tell my blog family that I’m making a major transition in my life.  I’m also thinking about how awesome my husband is as he is home with the girls so I can have a couple of hours to get away to write and study for an upcoming teaching I’m doing.  Oh, and I’m also silently thanking God that I don’t belong to a sorority as I spy the latest Greek fashion trend of baggy t-shirts, little shorts and Uggs (I thought that we were past this in our community but I guess I was wrong?).

Anyways, back to my exciting transition...While on maternity leave I felt God nudge me that it would be best for my family if I went part-time at my job at the church.  Working in ministry is never an 8-5 job, and as much as I’ve loved the many facets of working at our church for the last 9 years I’ve also realized that the constant demand of people needing me has the potential to overshadow the two little ones who really need me the most.

And as I got quiet and talked long and hard with the Lord about this transition, I also discovered that I needed to take a step back not just for my girls’ sake but for my own.  I have so many ideas and plans and thoughts swirling inside this head and heart of mine - it’s been there for several years - the what ifs and dreams.  They have been pushed down and down further for the last 3 years.  The demands of the urgent always screaming louder and pushing more forcefully.  I really thought these ideas and dreams might go away, but they are still there.  Teeming with more steam and strength than ever before...

And so I’m taking a big step and easing away from the job and ministry that I love (I’ll still be there part-time), but I’m opening time and energy to the two avenues that need it most - my family and my creativity.

I’m tempted just to tell people that I’m backing away to be a better mother...and although that IS true...I know deep down that what will make me a better mother isn’t just spending more time with my girls but it’s also living my life fully alive.


I’ve always loved the quote by Saint Irenaeus, “The glory of God is man fully alive.”  And I want to know His glory and live it out as well.  Not just living the “I should or I must” that life seems to always hand out...but the “I dream and I believe” that is bubbling just below the surface.  

I wonder how many of us...if we were really honest, push aside those dreams...those thoughts...that desire to let our creativity come alive because it’s not practical or secure?  What if we tried to live fully alive?  Would the world see His glory any more clearly?

All I know is that at the age of 33 I’m going to take a step that scares me.  I’m going to wave good-bye from the security and comfort that I know and try to be a little more adventurous.  I’m going to really play with my girls.  I’m going to study the Word and ask the hard questions.  I’m going to be more honest - with myself and maybe with you.  I’m going to attempt to create.  I’m going to take steps toward the dreams inside.  I’m going to be more present in my marriage.  And I hope that as I do these things that I discover more and more what it means to BE fully alive.

Will it be easy?  Probably not.  Already in the first two weeks of part-time status the time I had set aside to write and dream has been stolen away, but I’m determined.  And already in the first two weeks I’ve wondered about money and security and all those necessities, but I’ve lived by faith before and I know that it produces growth (and the good Lord KNOWS I need some of that).

Will this living fully alive be easy?  No.  Will I succeed at it everyday?  No.  But I’m tired of ignoring who I was meant to be - I’m ready to embrace this whole process of “Becoming Paige” - so here I go!

What about you?  Are there some ideas or dreams you need to unleash?



Thursday, July 26, 2012

Saving My Life Right Now...

My friend from college and blogger extraordinare, Sarah Bessey wrote a beautiful blog yesterday answering the question “What is saving your life right now?”  It stirred others to write the same and so today she opened a syncroblog and invited any who will to share their words.

I haven’t written in so long that my first instinct is just to read the words of others, but as I sit here staring at the stacks of laundry folded and awaiting their exile into drawers and closets I impulsively grab my computer and decide to write.

What is saving me right now?  It’s definitely not this laundry - oh, the laundry that seems to multiply while I sleep.  And it’s not the list of things to do like the back porch that needs sweeping and the panties that still lie on my bathroom floor...

What is saving my life right now?

I could write about the peppermint tea and two pieces (well maybe it was three) of dark chocolate that I savored while my girls napped.

I could pen words of beauty describing the pink blooms on the giant crepe myrtle outside my back windows or tell you how Selah and I love to pick the bright orange trumpet flowers off the vine that weaves it’s way around the corner of our house.

I could say I’m being saved as I attempt something that truly scare my introverted heart - yes, I’m hosting dinner tomorrow for a family that I’ve never even met face-to-face.  But I’m not sure if it’s saving my life...more like sending jolts to my heart as I envision my attempt at hosting people I don’t really know.  And yet, I know that those giant leaps - even small leaps like dinner with strangers always leave me in a better place - reminding me to get outside of the bubble that I find such comfort and safety in.

I could describe the conversations I’ve had this week with missionaries around the globe because in many ways they did save my life this week.  The seasoned couple who have given over 20 years to the people in Russia and Belgium.  The young couple in Botswana who poured out their hearts - frustrations, desires, and hope in the future - as we looked at computer monitors and connected over the ocean.  And of course the stoic and wise young man who calmly explained his plan to move his young family of five into Western Sudan...the immense love he has for a people who have seen nothing but hate was inspirational and made me think...even now, 3 days later about what I can do for those forgotten.

I could mention long conversations with friends who know me well - over coffee, on the phone, and while we stuff our faces with burritos.  Those conversations are good for the soul.

But most of all, in this moment - what is saving my life is the quiet...and this face.  


Sleeping peacefully with arms lifted as if in praise.  Watching her round tummy as it rises and falls with the rhythms of her breath.  The eyelashes that flutter occasionally, the slight smile that curves her lips, and the tiny fingers curled ever so gracefully.  Just looking at her - knowing she depends ON ME for food, for comfort, for shelter...for LOVE.  Just knowing that she needs me and I love her is saving my life right now... because it reminds me that I too am in need.  And I am loved.  And because of that love I am saved.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Flowers, friends, and a fabulous maternity leave - Project 365 - Weeks 31-33

It's my last week of maternity leave and I have been living at a slow pace.  I've been taking deeper breaths, gazing into the blue eyes of my my baby, playing hide and go seek with Selah, and devouring books in between.  It's been a great 6 weeks - can't believe how quickly it all flew by!

And I've put off my to-do lists (sorry if I still need to send you a thank you note) which is why I'm 3 weeks behind in my Project 365 - but I decided it was a good day to catch up & I've enjoyed looking back over pictures from the last 3 weeks - I'm learning that deep conversations and big dreams are found in this place of setting aside the to-dos.

Here are a few of my favorite moments (at least the ones captured with a camera) over the last 3 weeks!

Day 214 - Happy Anniversary!  Josh and I celebrated our 12th anniversary on June 23rd with dinner and a pedicure!  The pedicure was a last minute decision & we realized that the only other time Josh has gotten a pedicure was on our honeymoon...so his feet were 12 years out from any proper pampering.  All I will say is God Bless the sweet girl who tackled this task.

Day 215 - Selah has taken to picking flowers - so much so that the only flowers we have remaining in our yard are those on our trumpet vine.  I love the deep orange and I love receiving them spontaneously.

Day 216 - My mom took Selah and her cousins on a nature walk in our backyard - they were chasing two white butterflies when I snapped this picture.

Day 217 - I became a blonde with the help of my hair stylist Jayme on this day - I was excited (can you tell?)

Day 218 - Haven started focusing her eyes & loves to stare at her daddy

Day 219 - I already blogged about our Thank You Party - this is when we went to the store to pick out streamers!

Day 220 - The day of our Thank You Party - I love the expression on Selah's face!

Day 221 - We went to a wedding (congratulations Jaime & Michalea) and I took a picture with these two lovely ladies!  What is really crazy is that exactly one month before I was also at a wedding - feeling ready to pop - it's amazing what a difference a month can make!


Day 222 - Watched the gymnastics Olympic Trials - Selah was showing us that she could do it too.  Her exact words, "I do it too" - oh, and this attitude was also the case when we watched swimming and track & field - love that our girl believes she can do anything she wants to do!

Day 223 - Love this picture - already best of friends!

Day 224 - We were watching Josh's softball game & Selah was sitting with one of her favorite people - Erin!

Day 225 - Happy 4th of July!  We hung out at my parent's house for the Fourth - love laughing with my mom!

Day 226 - This was our first day of our vacation.  We drove to Santa Fe and as soon as we got to the hotel Haven was happy to be free from the confines of her car seat!  I loved the way the light from a window hit her face as she lay there so I captured a couple of photos.  Love how her eyes are lightening to a beautiful blue (just like her mom & sister)!
Day 226 (part 2) - Although it was raining we braved the elements & walked around downtown Santa Fe.

Day 227 - Introduced my girl to the greatness of Nutella Crepes!  I think I was more excited about this than she was - but she did like the whipped cream!

Day 228 - We found painting classes for kids in Colorado - Selah and I had fun painting together!

Day 228 (part 2) - love her concentration and the joy of mixing colors!

Day 229 - We went hiking on Sunday morning and these two were hilarious to watch.

Day 230 - The view where we were staying - I sat out here everyday reading, watching others fish, and soaking in the sun.  Oh, and Selah and I did have to run for our lives one afternoon when a flock of geese were intent on getting our ice cream sandwiches.  Thankfully we were able to outrun them!

Day 231 - I forgot to take any pictures this day - we were driving home...so I'll share a picture of my view while on the hike.  Love this precious girl.

Day 232 - Again, I forgot to take any pictures, so here is another favorite pic from vacation.  Love the joy in her face and love the scenery all around!

Day 233 - Bathtime!  My baby is growing (I forgot how much they change in the first couple of months)!

Day 234 - This is today!  Selah was picking flowers this morning and my friend Marisa snapped our picture together while she was over for a visit!
I hope your weekend is filled with small surprises and beauty at every turn - Enjoy the small moments!

Monday, July 2, 2012

Adding Whimsy To My Life

While on maternity leave I have been reading like my heart really desires.  I’ve found that a book is the perfect companion during 4am feedings (along with the occasional Pinterest gazing), and I recently finished Love Does by Bob Goff.  I loved this book and was inspired by Bob’s stories of showing love and embracing whimsy (as he describes it) in life. 

As I read story after story in this book and thought of my own stories, I realized that the stories that I recount to this day are those that in deed have a whimsical feel to them - you know - they are the stories of jumping with abandon into the Indian ocean or dodging bombs with a 75 year-old woman hanging onto my arms (I’ll have to write these out later)...they are the stories of my husband’s audacious love and the way he stalked me until I loved him back.

As I read Bob’s words at 4am I couldn’t help but ask God for some whimsy in my life.  I felt dry and tired and old and I wondered if whimsy was something of the past (the before Paige became a mom stage of life). 

The next night as Josh was telling Selah a bedtime story back in her room, I heard giggles and squeals and then they both ran out to tell me of the plan they had just devised.  My sweet 2-year old loves the idea of a party - birthday parties, going away parties...really any type of party is right up her alley!

So she came racing out of her room to tell me that she and her father had just planned a party during their nightly bedtime story.  As her words came out jumbled and I looked to him for explanation, he said with a sparkle in his eye that Selah wanted to throw a Thank You party for her Papa & Gigi (my parents).

It would be a party to thank them for being such wonderful grandparents and for making her feel special as she has recently become a big sister.  I looked into Selah’s dancing eyes and asked her what we would be needing to make this party happen.  And without hesitation she began to make a list:

Reemers (Streamers)
Party Hats
Candles
Cake
And a Dancing Song

Josh informed me that he would set up a time later in the week to have my parents over for dinner if I could help Selah get her list together.

At first I laughed it off assuming that all would be forgotten by the morning, but I quickly realized I was mistaken as she ran into my room at 7am the following morning and exclaimed that it was time to decorate for the party!

The party was on her lips for the next 48 hours.  We went over her list of supplies countless times & she always did a little dance as we talked about what fun the party would be.  My heart wasn’t really into it at first, but the next time I picked up Love Does I remembered my 4am prayer for more whimsy in my life.

And I had to wonder - how often were moments of whimsy & real love in front of me - literally within the reach of my finger tips but I just didn’t reach out?  How often do I ignore the imagination of my child...of my husband?  How often do I ignore the longings of my heart because it’s not sensible or I presume I don’t have the time?

How often are my prayers heard & answers sent almost immediately but I refuse to see the answers because they look like a child’s party rather than what I assume is a proper response to my plea? 

I realized that if I was going to add whimsy to my tired life...if I was going to try to do love rather than just write theology about it...perhaps the best way to begin was in following the footsteps of my child.  After all, doesn’t the Kingdom of God belong to ones like her?

So Selah and I headed to the nearest party store & went down every aisle looking for the perfect streamers and party hats.  To my amazement she didn’t ask for anything else that lined those shelves - she was on a mission - she had a party to throw.



She looked at the large selection of streamers and chose purple, hot pink, and baby blue.  She pointed with determination and held onto the streamers as if they were a new toy.  We came home from the store & immediately decorated the house (even though the party was still 36 hours away). 

She directed me on where to place the streamers & then she methodically placed all of the party hats on the table.  All was set for our party!

The next night my parents came over & Selah screamed surprise & thank you and proudly showed them how she had arranged all of the candles in our brownies.  Party hats were donned, grilled chicken and fresh corn on the cob was eaten, and her song was played so that we could dance at this party!




It was a grand night - definitely a night of whimsy, and as I went to bed that night I realized that this tired momma of a 2-year old and month old baby had a smile on her face.  Yes, I was tired and secretly wished I could have a full night’s sleep ahead of me, but my heart was full.  I had watched my 2-year old show love to her grandparents that night.  I had watched her skip and dance and giggle at candles.  I had lived out the power of whimsy just as I had secretly prayed...and I experienced first hand the power that comes when love isn’t just an idea or a constant note on my to-do list.  On this night  love was active and silly and joyous and real.





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